The Night Before
by Christina5
Summary: Heero and Duo cant seem to come to terms with their feelings until a crisis occurs. First fic warning! Much sap ^_^
1. Default Chapter

**The Night Before – A prelude**

Hello minna-san! This is my first ever fanfic ::stops:: hello? ::Notices that everyone disappeared:: Its only the beginning very short! *with more to come! ahh only if you like it* ::Notices a few VERY brave souls venture out:: C(omments)& C(ritism)& C(orrections) are all welcome *heehee I made up that extra C* 

Legal Junk: This ficcie is not making any $$ at all so don't sue or anything Heero and Duo don't belong to me! I just like to play with them

Warnings: Ahh.. none really because since this is my first fic I didn't put any lemon or lime in it. Just yaoi! And mebe some OOC depends on the way you look at it

Heero

What is that sound? I had woken up late in the night to the sound of someone crying, sobbing uncontrollably. Who is it? I think as I scan the room for intruders. It could only be Duo, he's the only other person here. Glancing at Duo, afraid that he would he angry that I find him at such a moment as this, I am surprised he is sound asleep. Then who is making those sounds? It's me.

Duo

::Running in terror after Heero I yelled "No Heero! Don't do it!" He looked back at me in that cold lifeless gaze. "Please Heero. Don't!" I pleaded just as he jumped off.:: "Noo!" I screamed. I sat up eyes wide with fear. The nightmare was quickly vanquished as I gawked. Heero, he's crying? Disbelief showed through, as I sat there with my mouth wide open. He didn't see me yet, since his back is too me. I guess he didn't hear me as well. What should I do? My frantic mind told me the smart thing was to go back to sleep and ignore the whole thing. But my racing heart told me Heero needed someone to comfort him, and I was the only one here to do it.

Heero

Why am I crying so hard? What happened? "Heero?" Damn. Du o woke up. "Go back to sleep Duo. We have a mission tomorrow." Cursing myself off for being so unaware, I didn't notice when Duo came over to sit on my bed either. "Heero if there's some thing you want to tell me you can." :: "Duo, there's something I need to tell you, before we all die." I said into the intercom. "Yeah, what message do you want to be relayed to the God of Death? He's not in right now so please leave a message at the sound of the beep." When no beep came Heero glanced at his monitor searching for Duo in his cockpit. "Duo! Duo this isn't funny." "Is that all you wanted to say Heero? Then come on we still have some mobile suits to kick ass." "Duo be careful your Gundam can't take much more damage." Duo turned to attack another mobile suit. "Yeah sure Heero. If that's all ya wanted to tell me then come on I already know that!" No I wanted to say I love you.::

Duo

Heero had stiffened and sat still. No longer were the sobs seeping from his throat, but the teas still rose unbidden. "Heero, you can tell me. I would not think anything less of you, no matter what." Is that what you say when you are trying to comfort someone who is not meant to be comforted? "Heero? Heero are you even there?" The remains of my dream rushed back to me. Am I still dreaming? Reaching out I took hold of Heero's arm, bringing my other around into a tight hug. He's here, my mind told me.

Heero

So that's why I can't control myself right now. It's Duo. It's all his fault! And added nuisance to the mission, my mind said. Refocusing into reality I realized Duo had wrapped my into his arms. My first hug, a dull part of me noted. I pulled my arms up and collapsed into him, crying harder. This is what I want my heart has told me that in my dreams. To hold you, Duo, to care for you, to love you, it's all that I will ever want. You're giving into your feelings my mind screamed at me. Soon my inability to accept him, yet to do without Duo was also a concept beyond words, confused me so much that all I could do was cry. I can't love anyone. Not now. Not ever.

Duo

Her returned my hug and is crying to me. I still don't know what he is crying about bit it doesn't matter. It's just good to be sitting here like this, with him in my arms. Who knows if I will ever get the chance to do it again. His tears are subsiding, and he pulls away. "Feeling better Heero?" I look at his face. "Aa." He replied. His face looked so different. Vulnerable and afraid. Why is Heero afraid? Oh Heero, I thought you to be fearless. "Well, like you said. We gotta rest up for tomorrow."

Heero

He went back to his bed. Is it my imagination or did he linger just a little bit? It was only concern nothing more. Turning back to sleep I lay still. I couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts were racing around. It wouldn't affect my abilities tomorrow, not the lack of sleep. That wasn't want I was scared of. With the amount he chatters he really is caring, I figured as my thoughts turned to another subject. Even though I was silent there was still noise coming from across the room. Duo obviously can't sleep.

Duo

"Duo?" Heero asked.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Go to sleep."

"Okay" Is that all he had to say? I'm only disturbing his sleep? And to think that I was trying to comfort him. I lay still trying not to move, or risk annoying Heero further.

"Duo I didn't mean for you to lay still. I was only telling you that you should get some rest." Was it me or did Heero just try to reassure me? Passing it off I thought about the feeling of holding Heero in my arms. He was so warm, softer than I would have thought I was already longing for him back in my arms. What was that look in his eyes? Fear? The look was too obvious to be my imagination. What is he afraid of? Or who?

Well how did ya like it? ::Runs and hides around the corner:: Don't hurt me if you didn't like it! 

-Chichi


	2. The Mission

The Mission –Part One

Konnichuwa minna-san! I finished typing it *which means I gotta write another part where does all the time go?* Hope you all like this one too~

Legal Junk: Heero and Duo don't belong to me, they belong to each other. So don't sue me~ *looks at piggy bank* he ate all my money! Mean piggy~ As you can see I'm short on the cash bit too.

Warnings: Nothing different from the one before ahh probably a bit boring *don't fall asleep* I don't think I even put much Yaoi in either. Oh well~

This takes place when Relena was in space on Libra. Of course I changed the plot No flames cause I made it seem like you can get on and off Libra without a mobile suit ~

"Duo wake up," Heero said as he walked into the bathroom.

"Didn't even check to see if I was up" Duo muttered slipping out of bed. "Oh there are my clothes. I wonder why they are on Heero's bed?" Walking across the room Duo sat on Heero's bed remembering what happened last night. Did it really happen? Or was it just my dreams? Duo questioned himself. Smelling in Heero's unique scent the longhaired boy lay down waiting for Heero to exit the bathroom.

Opening the door and walking out Heero saw Duo lying on his bed. After a sharp intake of breath Heero said, " You can use the shower now but for no more that 15 minutes. We have to meet the others in half an hour."

Duo sat up, shaken from his dreamy state. Realizing Heero was staring at him in a funny way, Duo bounded into the bathroom. "Okay Heero! 15 minutes or more!" Locking the door behind him, Duo left no room for response.

Thoroughly refreshed after the shower, that was way over 15 minutes, Duo walked out. Heero was already on his laptop, and didn't bother to look up. "So what's up with the others?" Leaning over Heero's head Duo read the email that Heero was sending Quatre. It read:

To 04:

Meet at 10. Baka's take a long time to shower. Review plan with 03, 05. We are clear here.

-01

"Heero!" Duo whined. Any pretense of talking about last night was gone. 

"Duo, you know what we are doing right?" 

"Yeah." It's and in and out job, Duo reviewed with himself. We go in split up and look for Relena. First one to find her radios the others and leaves. Just in and out that's all, Duo reassured himself. Some how I just have a bad feeling about this, Duo thought. Why do we have to save Relena anyway? She's just getting in the way and Heero doesn't even like her! But then it was Heero who insisted on rescuing her

"Lets go Duo. Its time" Heero was all business. Glancing at the clock Duo jumped. Hastily braiding his hair he ran after Heero.

***

Sneaking into Libra was easy. Because White Fang had so much military power, they didn't think they needed to guard their base. Immediately finding the sleeping quarters Heero, Duo, Quatre, Trowa and Wufei split up.

"Remember to radio in as soon as you find Relena." Heero reminded. Silent nods were exchanged and each boy went down his respective hall.

***

Silently stalking a nonexistent person Duo walked down the hall. The hall was the more lavishly furnished ones. Having chosen it in hopes of not finding Relena rooming in one of then he was largely disappointed. The third door to the left had her name on it. Cracking open the door Duo breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't inside. But someone else was. Duo watched in dawning horror as a man rushed at him and knocked him out.

***

Quatre slinked down his hall searching for Relena. The call to go back hadn't arrived yet and Quatre wasn't focused on finding Relena anyway. She's not in this hall, Quatre quickly determined. Having picked the shortest hall Quatre walked down to the end going through every room. Oh! A connection to some other hall Quatre thought. Maybe Relena is in there. Breathing a sign of despair Quatre went through the door.

***

Trowa stealthily went down the hall. Silently he opened and closed all the doors. Relen'as not in these rooms. Because it was the day every one was out on deck and the hall was deathly silent. What's that? A startling sound and interrupted the silence and Trowa prepared for a confrontation.

"HI TROWA!" an overly cheerful voice sounded. "I didn't know your hall connected to my hall."

""

"So Relena's not here either?" Trowa nodded. "Okay then I say a nice bed over in my hall"

~ The rest has been cut off for viewers' discretion ~

*** 

Wufei walked down his hall hoping Relena wouldn't show up. With barely any furnishings within the hall, Wufei supposed that these were the quarters for the lower soldiers. Walking down the hall and searching through everything, Wufei heard someone coming. Dashing into the room he was currently searching through, the Chinese boy hid himself. It's only a woman, Wufei thought as he discovered the voice was high. A young woman, Wufei noted. She was talking to herself complaining. "Oh Heero when are you going to come and rescue me? I'm waiting!" It must be Relena. Damn, remember the mission Wufei told himself.

Coming out Wufei met Relena. "Come with me," Wufei said.

"Oh you're that guy! Heero's friend. You're taking me to see Heero? Yay! He did come!" Relena cried latching onto Wufei.

***

Heero lurked down the hall. He had purposely chosen it because it led him directly to Zechs. The others may think that I want to find Relena but it's only a cover up Heero thought. I don't want them interrupting me, or distracting me, Heero thought as he considered the longhaired boy. A voice crackled over the radio. "Relena has been found. Return to gathering point." Damn. Not enough time, Heero thought. Next time Zechs. I'll get you next time.

***

They all gathered at the predetermined gathering point ready to leave. 

"Where's Duo?" Quatre asked.

"HEERO!" Relena shouted, switching from Wufei to Heero holding on like a leech.

"Duo. Duo come in," Heero said into his radio. Only static came through.

"I'm going back to find Duo." Heero announced.

"What? He can make it out himself. We don't need to risk ourselves getting someone who sneaks around all the time anyway!" Quatre said to deaf ears, since Heero had already left after unlatching Relena.

"Oh Heero, don't go after that baka!" Relena pleaded, but Heero just ignored her. As Relena and Quatre started after Heero they were stopped.

"Let him go Relena, Quatre. He needs to go." Trowa said, with a look in his eyes that Quatre had never seen. I know what you're going through Heero, Trowa thought. You should accept it.

"Gundams, this is base. Has Relena been recovered?"

"Yes. Mission accomplished."


	3. Interlude

Interlude: Heero's fight within himself

In a vain attempt to get everyone to understand what I am trying to write I inserted an Interlude (I think it also makes the fic go along better too) about what Heero is going through.

~~ = Conscience 

Legal Junk: No these characters aren't mine, I don't own them, blah blah blah how many times do I have to waste my time writing this?!?! Im just using them for pure insanity.

Warnings: Its just Heero arguing with himself so we'll have to see how bad that is

Baka. How could he get caught? A simple in and out mission. I knew that he wasn't in peak condition because of last night. ~Because of you. You know that he was worried about you this morning~ Oh Duo what are you doing to me? I cant love you Duo. Its impossible. ~You just cant admit it~ Admist what? ~That you love him~ That's because I don't. ~But you do~ How would you know? ~Your scared~ So what are you saying? ~Your afraid Heero. Duo's doing things you want but are afraid to accept~ No. Omae o korusu. ~Haha. Your going to kill me?~ Hai. Duo doesn't mean anything to me. ~Yes he does. You can keep denying it Heero but that doesn't make the feeling go away~ Yes it does. ~Act on your emotions Heero. Do what they say~ They are telling me to stay away. ~No Heero. They are telling you to accept it~ No. Never.


	4. Saving Death

Saving Death

I hastily typed this up so I could post the rest of the fic~ ^^ Feed back is nice although I know that (this being my first fic a major excuse) I didn't do a great job on this.

Disclaimer: Not mine, hope you got that thorugh your head already. [get that? NOT MINE!]

Duo:

I woke up groggily. What? Where am I? I don't get it. What happened? I'm chained to the bed, I realized. Damn how did I get into this fix? Oh yeah. Earlier events rushed to me. I'm in Relena's room chained to her bed. I looked around. There were few items around the room. What's that? A picture of Heero? How did she get it? Ohoh I want it! I reached out for it all to late remembering my body was still chained. Damn. Oh well at least I can keep staring at it. Oh Heero, I wish you cared for me just as you do Relena. I wish you would come and rescue me.

Heero:

This is the hall Duo picked huh? Should have known he would go for the upper class. There's Relena's room. Glaring at the room evilly as if it was the girl herself. Relena, know that I didn't save you for me. I saved you for the world. They need you. I don't want you. I sighed. The girl really was something, but she didn't appeal to me the way Duo never did either I remind myself. I might as well get the girl some thing of hers as I look for Duo. I walked into the room.

Duo:

The door opened. With my eyes shut I appeared to be still knocked out. If it's an officer than he's going to leave. I heard a sharp gasp and a hand fingering my head. It lingered, holding my head and dropped away. I breathed in startled. It smelled like Heero. I heard the person shuffling across the room. Should I? My impulsiveness took over and I opened my eyes. It's a soldier.[1] Closing them quickly I clamed myself. Suddenly the soldier was next to me again. SNAP!

Heero:

I broke off the chain surrounding his body. Baka, had his radio off. After checking the radio for its presence I radioed base. "Duo has been found. Returning, be ready for pick up."

"Okay to that." Returned the radio.

All of a sudden Duo jerked causing me to drop him.

Duo:

"Ouch" I rubbed my butt. "You didn't have to drop me like that!" Grinning like a maniac Heero couldn't have known how glad I was that he was there. "Shut up and pretend you're asleep!" Heero growled at me frantically.

Heero:

The look of surprise mixed with hurt affected me more than I cared for it to. Think about it later my mind said. Picking Duo up, I hoped he followed what I said.

"What are you doing?" A soldier questioned me.

"I'm taking the boy."

"He's my responsibility. I'm the one who took him prisoner."

I glared at the soldier saying, "Well now he's mine."

Duo:

Heero knocked the soldier out and chained him to the bed. "Come on Duo." Heero said, after he grabbed Relena's suitcase of clothing. Making sure Heero already left I went and grabbed the picture of Heero. Relena, now it's mine.

Heero:

Duo and I made it out well. The soldier will talk but there's nothing Zechs can do about it. Duo stop. My mind wanders around too much. On the ship heading towards Peacemillion I stare at Duo. Accept him my heart tells me. I know he cares for me, and I care for him back. I will allow my self only that, nothing more. Duo is talking again. He may think I'm not listening. Sometimes he's right. Just listening to his voice sometimes gets me so mesmerized. "We are back at Peacemillion." The ships internal computer alerted us, momentarily interrupting Duo's monologue. "Duo?" I ask. What is it that I wanted to say?

"Yeah?"

"I" Just then Quatre, Trowa and Wufei burst into the ship.

Duo:

"Hi!" I say. Damn why did they have to come in now? Heero was just about to tell me something

"Oh Duo we were all so worried!" Quatre bubbled with Trowa and Wufei nodding.

Recounting what happened they all tried to soothe me. Except Heero. Where did Heero go? He's over there. Talking to Relena.

Heero:

What was I thinking telling him I love him? That's what happens when you let your heart take over. Duo what are you doing to me? I glance at him chatting eagerly with Quatre, Trowa and Wufei.

"Heero are you all right?" Relena asked, I had given back her suitcase, which had brought about much surprise from her.

"Aa." I replied. How to escape Why did I chose not to go talk to her?

"Oh Heero, you're so brave saving Duo like that and getting my suitcase at the same time!"

"" I ignored her. Duo's voice was much more pleasing to listen to even if I'm not understanding what he's saying from across the room.

"Relena I hope you know what to do now that you're free." I suddenly suggest.

"What?" Relena had been startled out of her chatter.

"The world needs you Relena. Go to them." With that I left the room.

"But Heero! I need you!" She screamed after me. Sudden abrupt silence ensued.

Duo:

Heero left the room with Trowa following. Where are you going Trowa? I sought out Relena and see that she has left too.

"Well that went well!" I announced. "So Quatre got any food on this satellite of yours?"

After Quatre had shown me around we went to get something to eat.

"I wonder where Heero and Trowa went." Quatre said.

"Oh well, I'm sure they'll comeback, after all this is a satellite. Where could they go?"

Heero:

I walked off into the artificial gardens, once again arguing within myself.

"Heero?" What? Whipping out my gun I turned around to face Trowa. "Heero I just wanted to talk with you." Trowa? Wants to talk? I put down my gun.

"About what?" I ask warily.

"About Duo."

[1] Heero is dressed in whitefang uniform and his back is to Duo.


	5. Trowa's Advice

Part 5: Trowa's advice

Hello~ bits and pieces of yaoi in here *actually the whole thing is yaoi trying to get Heero and Duo together* Well I know that this fic is getting super long~ Im gonna be ending it soon *I finally found the ending I want* It might even be boring ::sighs:: sorry minna-san this is my first fic ya kno~

Legal stuffs: None of the gundam boys are mine so back away from that suing idea~ And I don't have any money *mean piggy ate it all* so it's a waste of time~

Warnings: Boring~?

Trowa 

I know what you're going through Heero. I'm here to help you.

*short reminder of what happened in part 4 appears*

"About what?" Heero asked warily.

"About Duo."

A look of shock went across his eyes while the rest of him didn't move.

"You're good at hiding it Heero. But I can tell. I went through what you're going through now Heero. I'm here to help." I need to see you succeed Heero. You and Duo have been doing a dance of avoidance for so long now.

"I'm not going through anything Trowa. Leave me alone."

"Heero, don't you see how much you hurting Duo? Everything you do something it affects him, cant you tell?" I silently thanked Duo for noticing that Quatre and I had feelings for each other. I never realized I had them, but I'm sure Heero has. "Someone once told me to follow my emotions. Heero wasn't that you? I suggest you do as you say. It won't hurt to, I promise you."

"Trowa" Heero's face softened. "I I can't tell what my feelings are. Part of me says Duo's bad. The other says that Duo's good for me. I can't act on my emotions until I know what they are."

"You know what you emotions are. You're just too scared to accept it. Duo's waiting for you. Go to him."

"How did it happen Trowa? I thought all of my feelings were gone."

"Love can never be pushed aside. Love is stronger than even you Heero." I can tell I'm getting to him. He wants it. Once the last barrier is broken down Heero will know what he wants, and Duo will be there to receive it. "Don't turn him away."

"Dinner!" Quatre called from the window.

Duo popped up beside him. "Ya hurry up! I'm hungry!"

"See how his eyes find you Heero? See how they light up?" I prodded.

"Trowa lets go eat." Heero walked towards the building. 

Heero, you running away. Don't worry Duo, I promise that I will see you to the same happiness you found me and Quatre. Heero and you deserve it.

Chichi~

Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple


	6. Everything you want

# Part 6: Duos fight~

This is to the song: Everything you want by vertical horizons.

Legal stuffs: I don't own the characters and no one owns me~ *felt like a rant there* No suing *pleads* I'm already low on $$.

Warnings: This fic gets extremely repetitive, in itself and to the other parts. Let me repeat myself~ Extremely repetitive

# Everything You Want

© mascan music (ASCAP) and Maverick Music/W.B. Music Corp.  
lyrics reprinted by permission 

Somewhere there's speaking  
It's already coming in  
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind  
You never could get it  
Unless you were fed it  
Now you're here and you don't know why 

***

Duo walked around the room in complete anger. Heero, why are you so damn stubborn, Duo thought. Scenes from what just happened flashed past Duo's mind. :: "Heero I want you to have this." Heero just stared in surprise. Taking the offered cross Duo placed it into his hand. Heero became still. Like the night he way crying, Duo thought. "Take it Heero," Duo said. "I-I can't. Not right now." Getting up Heero ran:: Why'd I fall in love with such a baka, Duo thought hitting the desk in frustration. I'm lost Heero. I hope I find something to cling too soon, because otherwise I'm going to have to let go. Duo looks around him, at the small room on the satellite he shared with Heero. Why? Why am I here?

***

But under skinned knees and the skid marks  
Past the places where you used to learn  
You howl and listen  
Listen and wait for the  
Echoes of angels who won't return

***

Duo~

::I stood outside the Maxwell church watching it burn. Nothing I can do, I thought looking around me. I kicked the nearest thing. How did I become the only one surviving? Only a few scratches and marks were left behind to prove that I had indeed been inside the church. Too young to know the answer, I sat and yelled:: Shaking myself into reality I watched Heero as he fixes up Wing Zero. Every detail is precisely taken care of. Nothing is left to imperfection. Heero "the perfect soldier" my mind mutters. Why can't you just be the perfect angel Heero?

***  
He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why 

***

Heero~

I'm done fixing Wing Zero. It didn't really need to be fixed, but what else is there to do to keep myself busy? I allow myself a glance. Duo's just sitting there. He seems like he's waiting. For me? Wishful thinking, I tell myself. Duo you don't know how much I want you. How much I need you. I don't deserve you. I shake my head. You're perfect for me, but I'm not perfect for you.

***

You're waiting for someone  
To put you together  
You're waiting for someone to push you away  
There's always another wound to discover  
There's always something more you wish he'd say 

***

Sitting down in dispair, Heero never noticed Trowa coming up to him.

Resting his hand on Heero's back, Trowa just stood behind him. "Help me Trowa," Heero said quietly. "Am I really such an open book that you can see everything I feel?"

"No Heero. I just came to say we got a warning, White Fang may attack tomorrow. And that Duo's still waiting. When are you going to tell him?"

"I've got nothing to say Trowa."

"You can put Duo together and complete him. Or you can push him away, killing him inside. Which do you think is better?" Trowa left calling over his shoulder.

***

He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why 

***

Relena~

Heero~ I miss you. I- I've accepted it. I want you Heero, but I can't have you and I see that. Duo must be a lucky guy. I wish I could be as brave as you are. I'll try and when I succeed we'll meet again. I'll leave now and complete the mission you have assigned to me. I will bring world peace. I leave on the spaceship for Earth. It is the only way.

***

But you'll just tight  
And watch it unwind  
It's only what you're asking for  
And you'll be just fine  
With all of your time  
It's only what you're waiting for 

***

Duo~

I continued to sit in the room, long after Heero left. What I would give to know what you're thinking Heero. The curiosity is getting to me. The one time fear has ever been present on Heero's face has imprinted itself into my memory. I took out the picture I had taken from Relena's room on Libra. After staring I decided Relena must have taken it when Heero didn't know. Probably while he was staying in the Sank Kingdom. I tuck the picture back under my shirt. I'm so tired of waiting and wondering.

***

Out of the island  
Into the highway  
Past the places where you might have turned  
You never did notice  
But you still hide away  
The anger of angels who won't return 

***

Quatre~

I stare fondly after Duo. Hugging Trowa I look into his eyes. I see determination. "Trowa, why does Heero still hide away?"

"He's still scared, Quatre. Don't worry about it." Trowa reassured. Heero's been alone all his life. Adjusting to Duo must have taken a long time. I can certainly understand how Heero feels, and the way he is reacting is only natural. Running away is a form of survival. I can only hope that Heero comes to terms with himself soon.

***

He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why 

***

Trowa~

I separate from Quatre and go after Duo. "Duo," I say softly.

"Yeah?" I can barely detect the traces of loneliness and sorrow as Duo hides them away.

"Heero just goes slowly. Wait for him."

Duo's eyes widened. "How- How did"

"It's not that hard Duo. I see the same things in the both of you that you saw in Quatre and me. Don't give up Duo. Hold on." I try my hardest to reassure him. I hope I'm doing a good job.

***

I am everything you want  
I am everything you need  
I am everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
I say all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why  
And I don't know why  
Why  
I don't know 

***

Duo~

If everything Trowa says is right then how come I haven't noticed? Am I everything to you Heero? I wish. But I'll trust Trowa. I'll wait. Hurry Heero, I silently plead. I don't have forever. I chuckle. I'm death after all.

Heero~

Duo. I've given up trying to think of something else. All I do is think about him. I'm coming to terms in this. I see now. I do love him. I always did. Trowa made me realize this. After a silent thanks to Trowa I summon up the courage to confront Duo. Odin Lowe always made me face my fears.

So what did you think of this part? *sighs* I know it is getting boring~ I'm ending the ficcie soon!~

C&C *hinthint*

Chichi~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple

Proud member of the SACBHY

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	7. Internal and External

**Internal wars: Part 7**

How could he. How could he do this to me now? My whole life seems to have parted from me in those very few moments. Duo's gone forever. No, not forever. One day I will join him. That days going to be soon. Guilt rises up with in myself. I never told him. Go right on back there and face you fears Odin Lowe used to tell me. I had to run away too long, perhaps creating the worst mistake of my life. I could remember the exact battle. I always will. Duo's scream of anger. My scream of anguish. And the silence that followed. The battle had started out like any normal battle. We all flew out to protect Peacemillion. They out numbered up 20 to 1. We had faced worse odds I figured. And that figuring brought about Duo's death., I berated myself silently. I will always remember my mistake in under estimating the new Virgos. Wing Zero had saved me. But it couldn't save Duo. I had ordered we split up and take a section of mobile dolls each. I hit the mobile dolls in controlled fury. Strategically Wing Zero and I eliminated each and every doll. Trowa was having the most trouble since his bullets wouldn't penetrate the shield created by the Virgos. For all that happened one would think Duo would have had the easiest time. Trowa had already run out of bullets, so was rendered nearly helpless. The Virgos were rushing around working together. It was then that I underestimated them. I had divided them up into groups, but they weren't really separate, they became one working together. I'm sorry Duo. It was all my fault. I bang my head on the wall. It was impossible to save you. But it is still all my fault. I led you wrong. I led you all wrong. I am no longer fit to be your leader. We had surrounded them. The remaining 31 were together cornered like mice. We all attacked but the shield blocked all our fire. Except Duo. He had gone into close range and gotten blown away by the deflected fire of my beam gun. My fire had killed you. I ask Duo for forgiveness but I'm talking to the wall. I had watched in horror as Duo and his gundam were blown into space. And lost. I listened as your scream faded off. You're war scream varied from my scream after the beam hit you. I went after you but you were gone already. Trowa, Quatre and Wufei watched as I destroyed the remaining Virgos in fury. I turned off the communication system. There was no reason to let the others in on my tears. My weakness for another. But now I'm alone. And I cry even more. How long have I been crying over him? I lost track of time so long ago. I lay down and sleep.

"Heero! What's up?" Duo said.

"You're alive?" I whisper unbelievingly.

Duo's image changed into Relena. "Heero! Come back to me!"

"Omae o korusu," I said.

"You succeeded," Came Duo's voice.

I woke up gasping and I look across the room at Duo's empty bed. But it's not empty. Is that Duo?

Chichi~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Protector of Heero's one true love

Healer of Heero's wounds

Owner of the bathhouse in the Shinigami Temple

Proud member of the SACBHY

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	8. Reincarnation

**Reincarnated - part 8 (end)**

I must be dreaming. I stand up and bang my head on the wall. Look at Duo. Bang my head. Look at Duo. Bang my head.

Duo

What's he doing? Trying to render himself retarded?

I get up walking over to him which results in some more bangs on the wall. I suppose he really should he confused. I had been blasted into space by his beam. Even I had been surprised when my gundam survived the direct hit. I had given up for being gone. Heero It was then I decided my life's too short to wait for you. If I ever survived this I would tell you. I walk up to him "I am alive so you don't have to give yourself brain damage." [1]

Heero stopped and stared at me. "How did you get back?"

"What a good question. I had been knocked out when I woke up Howard had found me. I guess I am glad he paced a tracer on me. Explaining things to Heero, something flashed across his eyes. An emotion that was foreign to his face. Relief? A faint fear replaced it and disappeared. "Heero are you okay?" I queried. He bacame emotionless and stood still. Maybe this wasn't a good time to tell him. Did I surprise him? You cant surprise Heero, I reminded myself. Maybe he doesn't want me. Maybe Trowa was wrong.

"Duo I'm glad you're back." Heero finally said. How could Trowa see what I'm missing? Trowa must be imagining things! "I-I've got to tell you something." Did Heero just stutter? I look at him in the eyes. They arent emotionless but seem to be asking for acceptance. I look closer and see a faint ring of puffiness that was familiar to me only once before. The last time Heero had cried.

"Yeah Heero? I've got to tell you something too. But you tell me first."

Sudden uneasiness swept Heero as he staggered slightly. Quelled as quickly as it came Heero blurted, "I love you Duo."

It was now my turn to stagger. I could tell Heero really meant it. As he turned to run from the sheer magnitude of what he just said, I grabbed his arm. Jerking Heero around, I memorized his face in all its many emotions. The surprise, sadness, fear, and resignation all flashed by in a second before I went forward in a kiss. This is my declaration of love to you Heero, my mind whispered. United into one with my heart. At last, it whispered.

~Owari~

[1] I know this is supposed to be serious but I just cant help myself, its so funny thinking about Heero banging his head on the wall!


End file.
